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Tuesday, 07 September 2010 |
RIB-OFF REVIEW
Rib-Off XXIII
October 27, 2007 was the date of Rib-Off XXIII, and it was probably one of the most delightful days of the year to be outside, cooking ribs, drinking whiskey, smoking cigars, listening to Country (& Classic Rock) music and looking at beautiful women! (Of course, there are not many days of the year when I don't want to do those things! (H.H.T.J.!) The weather was perfect and with five teams vying for the title, the stage was set for another great contest!
Judging Staff
Assisting H.H.T.J. Bob "Fatback" Green this year were S.E.C.D.J. Gordon "Gordo" McLendon (7th year), C.D.J. David "Big D" Pitts (4th year) and Rookie Judge, D.J. Adam "Bebo" Green. Although D.J. "Bebo" has attended almost every Rib-Off over the past 25 years, he has always been either a competitor or a Pilgrim and this is his first time to serve as a Judge (I suspect that it won't be his last! (H.H.T.J.!). The judging was impartial, the rulings were swift and each Judge got lots of "Special Attention" from the Competitors, their Pilgrims and the Cheerleaders! The Judges really dig that!
Teams
Although there were only 5 teams competing in Rib-Off XXIII the competition was friendly, yet fierce! For a complete list of the team names and the competitors, simply click here.
Pilgrims & Armadillos
Best estimates are that, along with the 15 competitors, we had a couple of hundred Pilgrims and, thank goodness, very few Armadillos!
Best of Show & Best Ribs
Team KFC, captained by Mark "Hot Wings" Woodson captured the "Best of Show" trophy AGAIN (for an unprecedented 5th year in a row! (H.H.T.J.!), due in large part to his "Cheerleaders", who did an excellent job of making the Judges feel really special. However, Team KFC's Sauce Spreader, Fielding "Freddy" Watts, deserves special recognition for providing H.H.T.J. with wonderful Cuban cigars and with Johnny Walker Blue Label Scotch. For the second year in a row, Team Captain John Brian Hale led his team to the "Best Ribs" title (JB has actually won 3 championships, but one of them came in 2002 during the Rib-Off that never happened, which means that it didn't count! However, I do still give him props! (H.H.T.J.!) Their secret sauce was tangy, sweet and delicious and their ribs were cooked perfectly!
Rib-Off Chip-Off Champion
Because we could hardly see the river, much less get to it because of the weeds, The Swamp parking lot was the site of the 5th Annual Rib-Off Chip-Off! Here's the deal...competitors pay $1 per chance to chip a golf ball off an Astroturf door mat into a plastic 55-gallon drum, laying in the ditch approximately 30 yards away. Whoever rings the barrel moves on to the final round with the winner taking all of the money! Unbelievably, six golfers sunk it to move on to the final round, where Tom "Take Me Home" Wilbourne, representing the Fat Basters Team, slammed the door on everybody by sinking his first shot in the finals! Everybody was so shook up, they could barely pull their club back after that! C.D.J. David "Big D" Pitts administered the event and said Tom won over $200!
Stick Horse Rodeo
For the first time in years, there were four entries in the Stickhorse Rodeo. H.H.T.J., having finally gotten over the loss of "Wanda the Wonder Horse", brought one of Wanda's fillies, "Willamena" to this year's contest. C.D.J. David "Big D" Pitts again brought in his young colt "Merlin the Magic Wonder Horse" and Lisa "Chi-Chi" Davis, from Team No-Tell Motel entered her filly, "Mustang Sally". A last minute entry "Sweet Baby Swiffer" (who was born that very morning) from Team KFC rounded out the field and the game was on! H.H.T.J., riding "Willamena", started the competition and set a high standard for the other horses. The combination of an extended "Rare-Back" (almost 7 seconds!) and "Willamemna's" ability to count to five,made it look like he would walk away with top honors, however, in an unexpected move, C.D.J. Pitts allowed two cheerleaders from Team Automotive Excitement to ride his colt and it was amazing to watch the girls barrel racing and doing tricks while riding tandem! The next to compete was Mark "Hotwing" Woodson, riding "Sweet Baby Swiffer" and it was the saddest thing the crowd had ever seen. The poor colt, just one day old, struggled to stay on his feet while the 300 lb. "Hotwing" put him through his paces and when it was finally over, the crowd was thrilled to see that the young colt lived through it all! Maybe next year "Swiffer" will have the strength and maturity to compete at this high level. Finally came "Chi-Chi" riding her filly and we all knew it was going to be something special from the start of their routine. "Mustang Sally" showed unbridled (get it?) enthusiasm for every trick she was asked to perform and at one time it looked like she was trying to speak (it was almost as though her lips were moving!)! Anyway, the "piece de resistance" came when "Chi-Chi" was actually able to balance herself on the horse's nose for almost 10 seconds! The crowd went wild and "Chi-Chi" was declared the winner on the spot! (the "G spot! - H.H.T.J.!)
Rib-Off Entertainment
As I mentioned last year, Paul Garner was considering renouncing his appointment as "Permanent Entertainer" of the Rib-Off and was thinking about taking a different role in the contest. Well, he did it! Paul officially stepped down from his Entertainer status and has joined Team No-Tell Motel as a competitor! (As we all know, competitors are the "creme de la creme" of all Rib-Off participants and those who accept the challenge are revered, so I don't blame him for wanting to move up! (H.H.T.J.!) Paul was quoted as saying, "Obviously, singing and playing for the crowd has its advantages. There's the adulation and praise from all of my adoring fans, there's the women constantly throwing themselves at me and, of course, the money is exceptional, but I've always felt that there was something missing! It took me years of careful observation of the Rib-Off competitions to finally realize what it was! I have more to offer than just a fabulous singing voice, magical fingers on a guitar and a pretty face! I have my culinary talent! Dammit, I just have to cook! Because Paul stepped down, H.H.T.J. decided to entertain the crowd with his ipod connected to a smokin' hot sound system. Selections played included Classic Country & Rock hits and the assembled Pilgrims didn't hesitate to get their dance on when they heard the beat! All in all, it was a great time and everybody had a blast!
Rib-Off Theme Song
There were only two nominations for Rib-Off Theme Song this year and they were:
| SONG TITLE | ARTIST | NOMINATED BY | | | | | | "And I Could Be Wrong" | Tim Wilson | H.H.T.J. Bob "Fatback" Green | | | | | | "Honky-Tonk Heroes" | Billy Joe Shaver | John Brian "JB" Hale | | | | | The winning song was "And I Could Be Wrong", by Tim Wilson, and if you don't have it in your ipod, you need to download it A.S.A.P.!
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Last modified: September 19, 2008
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