OFFICIAL RIB-OFF RULES
| 1. | Not more than three contestants allowed on any given team which includes the Team Captain, the Rib-Turner and the Sauce-Spreader. Note: teams are encouraged to bring as many "support personnel" (ie. - Bribery Consultants, Beverage Managers, Cheerleaders, Go-fers, Lay-abouts, etc.) as they want, however only three persons shall be "official" team members! |
| 2. | Teams must furnish their own secret sauce, grill, charcoal, lighter fluid & booze. |
| 3. | Only the competitor, "His Honor the Judge" or a duly appointed "Deputy" Judge will be allowed to test the ribs prior to the end of the contest. |
| 4. | Neither "His Honor the Judge" nor his "Deputies" shall entertain bribes...unless they involve: Money, Food, Whiskey or Women! |
| 5. | Each team must consume a minimum of at least one fifth of whiskey or one case (24 cans) of beer during the competition. Contestants booze will be kept in a restricted area. |
| 6. | All rulings made by "His Honor the Judge" and his "Deputies" are final...however, they may make up rules as the competition progresses! |
| 7. | Penalties shall be assessed for: Fumbles (dropped ribs, spilled drinks, etc.), Delay Of Game (fire goes out, ribs not ready, etc.), Off Sides (competitor goes into another teams area, etc.), Illegal Motion (improper "Buck" dancing, etc.), and any other infraction identified by "His Honor the Judge" or his Deputies. Competitors will be immediately aware of the penalty, as the dreaded "Rib-Off Penalty Flag (Bandana)" will be thrown into their area. |
| 8. | Ribs must be ready for consumption by the 5:00 p.m. deadline. Failure to do so will result in disqualification and public humiliation. |
| 9. | Cowboy attire is required by all participants in the Rib-Off (including Armadillos). Suggestions include: Jeans (cut-offs are OK), Cowboy Hat, Cowboy Boots, a bandana, a can of Skoal in the hip pocket, etc. |
| 10. | Running nekkid shall not be tolerated unless the runner is female, 18 or over, in reasonably good health and condition, and if the kids don't see! |
| 11. | Only Country music will be allowed at the Rib-Off (exceptions must be approved by H.H.T.J.). If you are a picker...bring your ax! |
| 12. | The annual "Rib-Off Theme Song"
shall be chosen by a majority vote of all participants (including Armadillos). Should you
wish to place a song in nomination, please bring a CD of same.
Past winners include "Whiskey Heaven" by Fats Domino, "Whiskey River" by Willie Nelson, "Whiskey Bent and Hell Bound" and "Family Tradition", both by Hank Williams, Jr., "You Never Even Called Me By My Name" and "If That Ain't Country" by David Allan Coe, "Texas" by the Charlie Daniels Band, "Strokin" by Montgomery's own, Clarence Carter, "I'm Not Drunk...I'm Just Drinking", "I Just Say Shit" and "How can I say I Love You, When You're Sittin' on My Face?" by J. Hawkins, "Bad to the Bone" by George Thoroughgood, "She'd Rather Be Homeless Than Here At Home With Me" by Bobby Bare, "Greasy Grit Gravy & Gizzard Greens" by Bobby Bare, Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, Dr. Hook & Shel Silverstein and "Pride and Joy" by the late, great Stevie Ray Vaughan. Last year's Rib-Off theme song was "Cowboy Man" by Lyle Lovett. |
| 13. | The coveted "Rib-Off Trophy" will be awarded to this years S.E.S.D.R.O.C. Champion at the annual "Rib-Off Awards Banquet" (usually held sometime each year). |
| 14. | The "Rib-Off Ten Commandments" must be observed by all participants (including Armadillos). Failure to do so will result in immediate disqualification and public humiliation. |
| 15. | The Contestants rights and privileges are protected by the "Rib-Off Bill of Rights". |
| 16. | "Only the Strong will Survive"! ...H.H.T.J., G. Steve Wilkes, Esq. 1980. |