RIB-OFF BILL OF RIGHTS
Amendment #1 - "His Honor the Judge" shall make no law against ones choice of whiskey, or prohibit the consumption of that choice. (Exception: If the whiskey is of Northern variety, then the individual shall be taken out back and shot!) Only Scotch from Southern Scotland shall be permitted.
Amendment #2 - A well-regulated, semi-sober, semi-conscious militia will be maintained for the security of the ribs. The Competitor's right to keep their recipes secret shall not be denied.
Amendment #3 - No Pilgrim or Armadillo shall, in a drunken frame of body or mind, sample a rib before the official eating time established by "His Honor the Judge". (We shall serve no swine...before its time!)
Amendment #4 - The right of a Competitor to be secure in his secret choice of sauce, brand of grill, type of charcoal and lighter fluid against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated by any other Competitor, any Pilgrim or any Armadillo, except at the discretion of "His Honor the Judge".
Amendment #5 - No Competitor shall be held to answer for another teams "pass-outs", "fumbles" or "turn-overs", unless "His Honor the Judge" determines that there was a deliberate "Act of Aggression" by that Competitor against the penalized team.
Amendment #6 - In all prosecutions of violations of the "Rib-Off Rules", the "Rib-Off Ten Commandments" or the "Rib-Off Bill of Rights", the accused shall have the right to a speedy "Monkey Trial" with "His Honor the Judge" presiding.
Amendment #7 - In the event of hunger, a Competitor, Pilgrim or Armadillo may be allowed to consume "survival rations" (extracurricular junk food), but only if they meet the approval of "His Honor the Judge".
Amendment #8 - Excessive Whiskey as well as extreme quantities of ribs shall be imposed on each Competitor, Pilgrim and Armadillo.
Amendment #9 - The playing of any music not deemed to be "Country" or "Bluegrass", will not be tolerated unless approved by "His Honor the Judge".
Amendment #10 - The Power delegated to "His Honor the Judge" by "The Rib-Off Charter" (on display at the S.E.S.D.R.O.C. Home Office in Eagle Pass, TX), shall not be used to force any Competitor to cook without Country Music or Whiskey.